A 52-year-old Dutch woman recounted the violence she suffered for five years. His ex-partner He forced her to tattoo his name throughout his body. «Everywhere someone had ever touched me, their name had to go,» Joke said on the podcast. Femicide from the local environment Heart of the Netherlands.
Resident of Rotterdama port city in the Dutch province of South Holland, Joke said he met Hans at a difficult time in his life. «Before I met him, I led a life that, in reality, was a bit exaggerated. Too many parties and nothing to do with what the faith prescribes,» he recalled.
Joke shared with Hans the experiences of his past, which he used along with religion to manipulate it. «According to Hans, it was God’s will that we had met. He sent me messages with old passages from the Dutch Bible,» he said.
She was working together with her brother at the time, but somehow Hans convinced her that «he talked to God» and that he had to submit to his will. «I had to give up everything, because that’s what you do for God. I had to get rid of everything I owned: photos, stockings and even hair pigtails,» she explained.
He also forced her to forget your past and leaving her children behind, to the point where «I couldn’t see them, I had to hate them.» «But I couldn’t do it. Especially when, for example, I heard my son’s name on TV. I couldn’t even do it before God,» he said.
The violence escalated to physical levels. On one occasion, Hans ordered Joke to remain attached to him to prevent the devil from dragging her away, so she tied herself to his body with a sheet on the bed. «When I confronted him, he would tell me: ‘Oh, there’s the Father, he’s furious.’ Then I would get stressed. You can’t imagine how crazy you become.»held.
«Every time he remembered something from the past, his body became weaker. The more it happened again, the faster he would die and then God’s will would not be fulfilled. He had gotten so into my head. In reality, I had to think about sex with him 24/7. That was the order«he added.
Tattoos: permanent marks of unhealthy control
The marks on his body began when Hans bought a tattoo machine from an online site. Every two days he subjected her to a new tattoo, with painful sessions that could last hours. The first tattoo was on his pubis, where he wrote «Hans.»
The man marked it with his name or variants of it, like his initials. He also tattooed him with phrases such as «Master Hans» or «property of Hans.» So, 90 percent of his body was tattooed. Only the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet were free of ink. «That would protect me from the devil, he said. He did it for God,» Joke explained.
«Pus was coming out of my body. I had to sit in a children’s pool with ice water, shaking with fever. He wouldn’t let me take paracetamol for the pain. I couldn’t say anything or ask questions, because if I didn’t, he would get angry. «It drove you crazy,» she added.
The situation became unbearable for Joke, who lost his house and was forced to live in a caravan with Hans. He manipulated and extorted her. One day, when Hans had a fit of anger, Joke had no choice but to go to the police. He was finally able to end the relationship. She was taken in at a center for victims of gender violence.
Through the Veilig Thuis Foundation – the assistance service for victims of gender violence – she met Andy Hanexpert in laser tattoo removal and co-founder of the «Tattoo No More» center. Together with his wife Dex Xaviera he runs the «Spijt van Tattoo» foundation.
These organizations are dedicated to assisting people who want to remove skin marks linked to deep trauma. «They asked me if I could help Joke. I knew I was expecting someone with a lot of tattoos, but hey; They were everywhere. «I couldn’t hide them,» Han said.
For two years, Han helped Joke remove most of the tattoos from his body.. To cover the costs of treatment, they launched the campaign «From your heart, from your skin» (Out of the heart, out of the skin). Joke is currently the visible face of this initiative that seeks to raise awareness and support for other victims of gender violence.
«Joke is a symbol of a large group of women whose problem may not be visible. Whether you have a single tattoo with your violent ex-partner’s name as ‘proof’ of love or fidelity, or several, as in the case of Joke: the emotion behind it is just as intense. A scar on the soul,» Han explained.
Joke hopes to raise 15,000 euros to complete the treatment and thus leave behind the marks that Hans left behind. Currently he has recovered his bond with his children and, according to what he said, maintains his faith with God.. «Hans is no longer going to ruin my life. If I run into him now, he’d better run away,» she said.
