Jordi Querol He was vice president of the European Council of Architects, president of the Governing Council of the Jordi Capell Cooperative, of the Barcelona demarcation of the Col·legi d’Arquitectes de Catalunya (COAC) and also professor of urban planning at the La Salle Barcelona School of Architecture. Now share your experiences in Reflections on aging fully, a book that encourages you to live fully the last stage of your life, a guide to senior age.
«On February 16, I turned 86. Therefore, if we consider being a senior or elderly person after retiring at 65, I have been on the senior staff for 21 years. My experiences seem necessary in contrast to the books of eminences on the subject,» he points out.
The day we do the interview is April 23. “A perfect day, Sant Jordi, with my beautiful city, full of books and roses,” Querol says on the other end of the phone, from his home in Barcelona. Today his agenda is full.
How would you define wholeness in the context of aging?
As pleasure of living. I insist, I have been a member of the senior club for 21 years, and I don’t like the word ‘old’. Although in Latin American countries it is used affectionately, it is a Spanish word that denotes deterioration. An old piano is one that sounds bad, an old car is the one you have to sell. That’s why I prefer senior.
Maybe we have to reappropriate the word, remove the negative connotations…
I would have to be born again, because I have been hearing since I was little ‘leave it, it’s too old’. In Catalan we are a little more affectionate, we say He is a ‘great’ person. That is to say, it is big, it has been around for many years. I think the meaning is beautiful. Nothing to do with the out-of-tune piano or the damaged car.
You also embellish that stage of life with the title of your book, Reflections on aging fully. How would you define plenitude in the context of old age?
Well, I have to confess that the title was proposed to me by the publisher, Planeta. I liked it because we all know that old age is the last chapter of existence. It will be better, worse or the same, but it is the last one. And this connotation marks that period definitively. Therefore, the intention of my book is to encourage and help as much as possible to live it fully, that is, to get the most out of it.
Do you have to plan for retirement to fully enjoy it?
I consider so. I’ll give you an example. My grandmother, who was the director of a primary school in Barcelona, retired at 69 and at 70 we buried her. But of course, this has changed a lot in the 21st century. When you retire at 65, you have a second life that can easily be 30 more years, almost a third more. A year flies by, but by 30, you need to have a program.
In your case, how did you plan life when you retired?
I have not retired, it is society that retires you. And it is logical. Young people want to talk to architects of a similar age, not an 86-year-old. But you are still alive and wanting to do things. Most older architects in Spain are good draftsmen, so I could paint. But I thought that there are those who do not have that possibility. Imagine, a firefighter or a taxi driver. What do they do? They have to invent something. I share what has worked for me, from deep reflections to basic advice. For example, my doctor discovered to me that, when you already have your pajamas on, it is advisable to drink a glass of water to sleep hydrated. Look how stupid it is, but it has worked for me and you sleep much better.
How do you feel when you hear younger people talk about older people?
Talking about seniors in general is society’s first mistake. Considering ourselves equal can cause some collateral problems. Stereotypes kill. Old age is as absolutely heterogeneous as children in a daycare can be. A person who has been unfriendly all his life is so in his old age, and the person is also unfriendly until his last day. All seniors are different.
What do you advise to maintain a positive attitude in the aging process?
To fully plan your old age after retiring is, first, to focus on the vocation of being happy. That should be your fundamental objective, to do things that you like. If your vocation is for your belly to end up being one of the blackest in Benidorm, buy sunscreen and sign up for trips. but there is a portfolio of possibilities wider. Plenitude in old age will only be achieved by those older people who, when they wake up, have the hope of achieving some goal. Whether it’s going to a concert, exchanging onions or having a snack with your friends.
What role does social connection, interacting with other people, play in healthy and fulfilling aging?
They are fundamental. Seeing friends, talking and even arguing is the basis of life. I know Cartaya very well, a town in the province of Huelva. There each of my friends has a small garden. In the afternoons, they exchange bags, one brings onions, another strawberries… and they have the illusion of taking care of the trees, of pruning them. That is living fully. The key is not to lose hope. That is the old age worth living. Furthermore, so that this generational gap does not exist like the one that is so sad today, I advise that anyone who does not have a computer should buy one.
There are people who feel the weight of loneliness in old age. How to deal with it?
We must assume that, indeed, there are moments of loneliness in old age, especially for a reason. I have already buried too many close friends of mine. And, when it happens, the tears are of sadness, but also of selfish sorrow, in the sense that with his death, part of your life is gone. I had eight close friends, I have three left. Loneliness lurks. But if you try to live fully, it disappears. If you lock yourself up it’s worse. Therefore, it is better to read the newspaper in a bar than to stay at home. And do things that give you pleasure. When I play the piano, I do it alone, but enjoying it. When we talk about loneliness it means that you are not enjoying yourself, that is why you feel alone.
How would you define your vital moment?
Old age is one of the most comfortable times of my life. But I’ll tell you one thing, I don’t like being in groups where we’re all older.
And do you manage to get closer to younger people?
It’s difficult because although I have this tendency, young people do not have it. Although I was surprised a few months ago, when I was in Madrid on the program Salvados, that Gonzo invited me to talk about the Catalan independence movement. I communicate with my friends and family via WhatsApp, and I have my email, but I am not on other social networks. My niece sent me comments from people, young girls and boys, about my participation in the program. Most of them congratulated me for being a person of such age, so intellectually lucid. That is to say, young people like to confirm your experience.
How do you get so lucid, tell me all the secrets, please?
I think that one of the things that has had the most influence has been, first of all, chance, things have coincidentally gone well for me. The second, take care of lunches and dinners. Also what I learned by listening to my elders, my grandmother, my father and my mother, the three national teachers and my mother who has a degree in philosophy and literature. That marked my future. And having never stopped being curious about life and learning. I like to be active. Now I am preparing another book, to see if they decide to publish it for me.
What do you think of ageism?
It affects us older people a lot, but it also hurts us as a society. This interview helps, for example, people understand that you can reach 86 years of age by reasoning. There are images of old age that have gone viral, like that of this man giving food to the pigeons in Plaza Catalunya in Barcelona. On the other hand, what I am saying is not so viral, but it should be. From a certain age we are not only there to feed the pigeons sitting on a bench in a square in our town or city.
How to care for the elderly?
The best help is from a specialist. But what the old man appreciates most is knowing that his loved ones are there. My wife, María Juana Hidalgo González, has Parkinson’s and I take care of her. One of my main jobs, apart from writing, playing the piano and painting pictures, and the one I do most comfortably, is taking care of her day and night as much as I can. I know that is great medicine. She is happy. She doesn’t thank me daily, nor does she need to, but I know that she is grateful that I am by her side giving everything. I feel very sad when I hear stories of elderly people absolutely alone because their children have disappeared. It must be one of the saddest goodbyes to this world.
How to prevent that?
It must be difficult to prescribe something for this, because it seems to me that people who act like this have damaged souls. Nobody has told me how to take care of my wifeit comes from my heart. I fell in love with her when she was 20, and I was 28. She has given everything for her family, and now that she needs her two children and her husband, imagine if the answer would have been negative. It doesn’t fit in my head.
In the book you ask yourself, are we many older? What reflection does it provoke in you?
With medical and pharmacological advances, Spain is the oldest country in Europe, the third or fourth in the world. The average is now over 83 years old. But very few creatures are born. That means that the mess gets worse every year. This influences, and will do so even more, radically on the country’s economy, because there will not be enough people contributing to social security to pay for so many withdrawals. This is a problem that has to be approached intelligently, but without pause.
What has surprised you most, positively and negatively, about old age?
The most positive thing about old age is freedom. What I am enjoying most in my old age is the absolute freedom I feel to say things. About the drawbacks, what can I tell you? I have fatal menisci, I have had to cut out tennis, now I play a little paddle tennis, but it seems to me that it is about time that I will have to give it up and dedicate myself to swimming… But there is this advantage, freedom.
To the generations to come, what would you say?
Let them continue fighting and behaving appropriately, because old age will be a reflection of what they have built during their lives. This is why it is so important to flee from corruption, frivolity, negligence… We would have to commit to building our lives with seriousness, honesty, cleanliness, sincerity. And, also, for self-care.
And finally… What is important in life?
The people, without a doubt. I feel lucky for those I have around me. Looking from afar, as if I were an astronaut of my life, I already tell you that I am happy with what I have experienced. This is the great beauty of life. Whatever you say, I’ll sign it. I have been wrong many times, but I guarantee you that I have always acted with the utmost good faith.
Paka Diaz
